Losing the fight
by Iceache
Summary: POST EitB. Who are you he'd asked. Yours her heart had answered.
1. Prologue

**It's just a drabble. For anyone wanting to catch the finale before it airs tonight go to my profile for the link. It's not a download. Takes you to the site that's it's on. **

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Three words, that's all it took. Three words had changed her life into something almost unrecognisable. It had been 3 months, 4 days and twenty seven minutes since her world had come crashing down around her, 3 months, 3 days and 23 hours since she had come to realise what she felt for him, only to realise an hour later that she could never have what her heart was finally acknowledging.

It hurt, it hurt like hell and every day was a struggle for them. His mind fighting to make the connections, her heart willing him to fight harder. The memories were gone, stolen from him and along with them his desires, his love for her, and as she replays the words in her head she wonders if there wasn't something she could have done differently, _should_ have done differently. Who are you, he had asked. _Yours_, her heart had answered.


	2. Brennan

**I am going to post a multi chapter piece showing Booth's amnesia from the POV of characters in the show. These will be taken from the months following Booth's surgery and amnesia and show how each is affected by the 'loss' of their friend. **

**Hope you enjoy.**

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_Brennan_

She didn't believe in ghosts, but here she was, living her days out with the ghost of the man she loved. He felt the same, sounded the same, sometimes he even smelled the same.. but it wasn't him. She'd never realised how often he'd touched her until suddenly his touch was gone, a barrier had seemingly erected itself between them, and she wonders if she ever made him feel this way. So close, but so out of reach.

On the few occasions that he'd accepted her suggestion to meet her at the diner for lunch, she'd find herself staring at him, expecting the pieces to suddenly fall back into place, their once easy conversation now disjointed and awkward. The pieces hadn't magically fallen back into place, the magnetism between them had been reversed, she felt him slipping from her grasp every day.

She didn't talk to him of their relationship, nor did he broach the subject. She wanted him to remember her without help, selfish perhaps, but she felt that she needed that from him. These past few months had been torturous, her research into retrograde amnesia had done nothing to alleviate her worries or fear. This could be a permanent set back, she may need to start over with him and she honestly didn't know if she was equipped with the social skills to help him develop the bond that they had once shared.

She went so far as to ensure that no one acknowledged the pet name that he had given her, that no one told him about her request for him to father her child, his past with her father. She'd been specific, because she wanted to believe that these things would prove that moment that _her_ Booth had returned. The moment that he would pull her into his arms and swear that he would never leave here again.

She felt that she was living half of a life now, a life that he should be leading right alongside her. They were supposed to be the centre, staying together and strong for everyone around them, only now the centre was crumbling and she wasn't sure that she was strong enough to hold for them both. She often tried to think of what he would do in her shoes, if situations were reversed but she couldn't imagine it, she couldn't imagine ever not knowing him, and yet somehow she was in that exact situation.

She remembered the fairy tales that her father had told her when she was a little girl, remembered smiling at the happily-ever-after endings and had wondered why any parent would condone reading stories that could give children such unrealistic expectations. This was life, bearing the burden of allowing yourself to feel for another person, opening yourself to heartache and depending on someone else to help you realise your dreams. This life was not one she had ever dreamed opening herself up to, this wasn't the life that authors promoted in their books, this life was hell on earth.

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A knock at her door causes her to look up from the anthropological journal she is reading, before she has a chance to push herself up from the sofa she hears it again.

"Just a minute." She pulls the throw on the sofa arm around her shoulders and drops the journal onto the coffee table before making her way over to the door. She peers through the spy hole and frowns when she sees him on the other side. Pulling the door open she cocks her head to one side as their eyes meet. "Booth..Is something wrong?" She pulls the throw tighter around her bared shoulders and tries to wash the worry from her eyes.

"Hey Doc." She winces inwardly at the greeting, he's come to call her this lately, another nickname, one that only serves to remind her that the man standing here in front of here is not the one that she has come to know. "Nothing's wrong, I just I wanted to get out, my apartment is driving me nuts, too much thinking space I guess. I tried calling some of my old buddies to catch up for a drink, but I guess I've forgotten that they've all got their own lives now. Guess I didn't really keep in touch."

She steps aside for him to enter and closes the door behind him. "So you came here?" She isn't mad, in fact she is surprised. He nods at her then looks around the apartment, she feels like his eyes are scrutinizing everything he sees, trying hopelessly to remember what he must feel is like a word hanging from the tip of his tongue. She walks past him into the lounge wordlessly and resumes her place on the sofa.

"I called Cam, but of course I keep forgetting that she's got a kid to look after now, Cam told me that normally you and I would be spending time together." He smiles gently takes a seat next to her. "So I figured, what the hell, I'd come over here and find out what we would normally do."

She lets out a small sigh, her head feeling heavy on her shoulders. "We would normally have a drink and talk, mostly about work, not so often about our families." She looks at her hands and feels the sadness take over her. "I think that we're both a bit guarded about our pasts. I know that I have never wanted to burden you with mine. But we are friends."

When she lifts her head to meet his eyes, she can see a sadness reflected back at her. "I really do want to remember you Doc, but it's just not there, the memories are just not there."

She smiles woodenly and pushes herself up from the sofa, not noticing his hand reaching out to touch hers. Wrapping her arms around herself she heads into the kitchen. "You want a beer?"

"Yeah thanks, I appreciate it." He leans back against the back of the sofa and allows his arms to sprawl along the back of it, closing his eyes. She stops reaching for the beers from the fridge and just watches him. These moments are the hardest, watching him when there is no sound, seeing him there on her sofa relaxed and at ease. The past few months could almost never have happened, this could be any night from their past. She'd get the beers, he'd order Thai and they'd argue over what movie or channel to watch. Maybe this could have been _the_ night, the one when she would finally show him that she wasn't afraid to give herself to him completely, when she showed him that her head had finally caught up with her heart. But tonight wasn't that night, in fact that night may now never arrive.

Closing her eyes to reorder her thoughts she reaches into the fridge and pulls out a couple of beers. She walks back to him and his eyes open as she nears, his hand closing around the bottle she offers. "Thanks."

She chooses now to sit in the small armchair across from him and takes a drink from the longneck. "Did you drive here?"

"Nah, I got a cab, figured that I'd grab a couple of drinks." He takes a drink and suddenly looks a little unsure.

"What's wrong?"

He plays with the label on the bottle. "This is okay isn't it? I mean me coming here, I'm not sure if this is something I would normally do, I mean we'd probably jut meet somewhere for a coffee right?"

She can't prevent a small chuckle from leaving her lips and shakes her head. "No, this is fine. This is fine." She smiles in a manner that she hopes is reassuring, she's never been good with expressing her emotions and it's not something she's ever had to worry about with him before. His returning grin lets her know she has achieved her goal.

"I'm sorry, this must be so hard on you. You know so much about me and I know nothing of you. I know from what little anyone will tell me that you and I were close, and my head's just been so full of new faces, names, experiences that I know you must feel like I'm not trying with you. But although I don't know you, I know myself, and I know that you feel important." For a moment her breath hitches in her throat as a look as familiar as her own face graces his features and as his gaze holds hers she dares to hope. But his gaze falls, and he smirks nervously and runs a hand though his hair. She covers the fall of her face with a curt nod.

"Have you eaten?"

He shakes his head. "No, you wanna go out?" He looks grateful for the reprieve.

She pushes herself up from the chair and smiles. "Actually, I make a pretty good Mac and Cheese. You loved it."

"You cook for me?" The surprise in his voice is undisguised and she cocks her head to one side and smiles in a way that makes his expression soften.

"We're friends Booth, I've cooked for you in the past, normally we'd get takeout or go to the diner for pie, but I've cooked for you."

"I love Mac and Cheese, I don't want you to go to any trouble for me though, I think I'm causing you enough work right now with my current situation."

"Let's see if you're still saying that when you're eating." He grins, something close to the charm smile that he seems to reserve just for her, she corrects her thoughts, _reserved_ just for her.

A few hours later, after he'd raved about her food, made small talk about his desk duty at the bureau and she'd explained his relationship with the squints, he was calling a cab and leaving. As she closes the door behind him she feels the tell-tale signs of tears stinging her eyes. This was harder than she imagined it was going to be, the doctors had advised her that she should try to jog his memories, that in the majority of cases patients were able to recall after being informed of past occurrences but Booth seemed to be in the minority.

He'd promised her once that he would never leave her, but this felt like he had, in a way this was worse, she'd lost him even though he was right in front of her. Just as she'd begun to realise her own heart, she'd lost a battle she didn't even know she'd been fighting.

As the first tears fall from her eyes she swears that she will never open herself to this kind of pain or fear again.


	3. Angela

_Angela_

The artist in her appreciated the sweet irony of the situation. Her friend, who had never known her heart, had come to realise it just as the man who had always known his lost his grasp on it. The friend in her however was breaking her heart over her friend's anguish. Brennan had finally allowed herself to open up to someone, to believe that she wouldn't be abandoned, only to have that belief shattered.

It wasn't fair, not on either of them. No one deserved to be happier, they were made for one another and that reckoning arrived too late. She's been trying to remain positive, reassuring Brennan that he'll just wake up one day and think it had all been a dream. Brennan naturally shrugs it off each time, tells Angela that she's just happy that he didn't leave his son fatherless, his friends attending another funeral in his name. Angela however knows better every time. She's seen the way Brennan's face struggles to hide the emotions that threaten to overwhelm her whenever Booth is in the vicinity.

It has made her appreciate that she has almost lost a good thing with Jack. But there's still hope, she truly believes that. She knows that he would do anything for her, she'd go so far as to say that he might even love her still, and she is learning from Brennan's mistake.

Over the past few months, Angela has paid more visits than she normally would have done in the past to Booth's apartment. She normally arrives armed with a box of photographs or some kind of trinket that might jog his memory, at first he had seemed sceptical, but Angela has always been easy to warm to. Although she has never explicitly answered any of his questions about his relationship with Brennan, she always feels that she has succeeded a little bit in making him realise the importance of his relationship with her.

He told her once that he thought that Jack liked her, that made her laugh aloud and he had looked puzzled. She'd explained that he had always tried to keep out of their relationship, preferring not to talk about relationships too much. He'd admitted that although the last relationship in his mind was with Rebecca, he didn't seem to feel any pain over the split. He found that odd, because he was sure before opening his eyes in the hospital those few months back that the pain had still felt fresh. Angela had simply told him that maybe he was dealing with a new kind of pain that he just didn't remember. It was a cryptic message, but a message nonetheless that she hoped he would ponder.

Photographs were confusing for him, she could tell. She would watch his features contort into a frown when he saw himself in pictures. He would squint at the picture trying hard to imagine himself in the situation, remember what the occasion was. She'd told him that most of the pictures were taken over the past year, she had become a bit trigger happy with the camera when her friend was institutionalised. She wouldn't comment on the who or why, just that the wounds were still fresh and that they had all been touched by the tragedy. The last time she had brought over a box of pictures he had taken a shine to one of him and Brennan fooling around in her office, in the picture he was leaning over her at her desk tickling her ribs and she was awkwardly trying to twist away from his fingers, she looked happy. But more importantly so did he. Angela had told him to keep it, the next time she visited she saw it framed on his sideboard.

She knew that it was only a matter of time, if his memories didn't return, that he would want to make new ones with her friend.

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She sits in her office, headphones on, head nodding slowly in time with the tune filtering through them as she works on rendering the note from her newest assignment. He knocks on the door gently and shakes his head when she remains oblivious to him. Walking over to her he taps her shoulder gently causing her to spin and face him abruptly, the shock evident on her face. A hand flies to her chest as she dramatically grasps at her racing heart.

"Sorry." He's laughing, and it's a nice sight, something he doesn't do enough of these days.

"Booth! You half scared me to death." She laughs and pulls the ear buds out. "How are you?"

He smiles and takes the seat next to her. "I'm good, I'm feeling good."

"What can I do for you, 'cause you know my heart is as good as taken." She flashes a flirty grin and he smiles cockily at her.

"Ange, I might have lost my memory, but not my senses. I don't need to know you to know that you are far too much for me to handle."

"Don't forget it FB Eye Candy!" They share a quiet chuckle before she clears her throat. "So really, what can I do for you.. you remember something?"

"No, no. Actually, I was hoping for some advice. I don't know who I usually go to for advice, but you seem to have your finger on the pulse, so who better."

"Ooh advice... this sounds promising. What gives?"

"I think I want to ask someone out on a date, and I was kind of hoping you could give me an indication of the kind of response I should expect." He looked nervous.

Her face lights up as she regards him "Someone who works here? Wow, I think I like this new Booth." Her heart is racing for her friend, it might take some talking her into it, but this would be a great development, maybe it would even help his memories to come back.

"Yeah she works here. It's just that, not knowing how we've been interacting over the past few years, I can't tell if the way that she acts around me is the norm or not. I think she's attracted to me, and I don't think I would ever have had to ask anyone for advice before, but I'm not all that sure of anything anymore."

She reaches out and grasps his hand in her excitement. "Let's just make sure we're on the same page, who are we talking about?"

He looks confused for a second "Cam. Of course."

She almost drops his hand and forces a smile. "Cam. Wow. Yeah." She blows out a breath of air and shakes her head. "Honestly Booth, I don't know."

Now he looks completely lost. "You think she'll say no?"

She leans back in her chair and taps her fingers on the armrests. "You and Cam, you had a thing, a couple of years ago. But it ended, and I don't know what has happened between you both since then. I just don't know if there's any heads up I can give you on that one."

"So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying, that you should talk to her. I don't even know if she's seeing anyone right now. I just, I didn't see that one coming."

He nods and looks to be contemplating something, Cam's head through the door causes her to look up. "Angela, any progress on that note?"

Angela nods towards the screen "It's still rendering, should be done in half an hour or so and then I'll clean it up, see what we've got."

"Great." She smiles at Booth. "Seeley, another social visit?"

"Hello Camille, don't call me Seeley."He grins.

"Don't call me Camille." She returns his grin.

He pushes himself up from his chair and nods to Angela. "Thanks for the chat."

"Anytime Booth." She watches him walk up to Cam and they disappear out of the doorway together. "Woo, this is just going to get messy." Shaking her head and returning her attention to the computer screen. Angela knows that Cam couldn't possibly accept an offer of a date from him, Cam may always have a soft spot with it came to Seeley Booth, but she wasn't blind, and she was most definitely not stupid.

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As she is finishing up for the night, she picks up her bag and coat from the rack and turns off her office lights, approaching her office door she can see him standing on the platform talking to her boss. She can't hear the words, but she knows how the conversation goes. A sad shake of her boss' head brings a smile to her face and she thinks to herself that she likes Cam just that little bit more.


	4. Cam

_**Cam**_

He remembered her, and in a way it made her feel guilty. Not that it should, she had known him for most of her adult life, but it did all the same. She knew that had he been given the choice, she wouldn't have been the memory that he had retained, but he _hadn't_ been given a choice and he _did_ remember her. She had tried to make the best of the situation for him, they'd met often for lunches and dinners and she had filled him in as best she could on his son's life and his relationship to the Jeffersonian team. They had fallen back into their flirtatious banter quickly and on more than one occasion she had to remind herself that he was unavailable to her. She'd lost him once, blinded by the truth in front of her, she wouldn't be fooled twice. She'd grown up in the Bronx, and she'd had to learn quickly from mistakes.

He'd asked her out a few weeks earlier, waited until the Jeffersonian scientists had left for the evening and charmingly requested a date. She would never deny the attraction between them, and she was mostly disappointed to be refusing him, but as he walked away she knew that he would recover from the rejection quicker than she ever would. She'd told him that he would understand why she refused him when he remembered the real reason that their previous attempt at a relationship had ended, which she added, was not the reason that he gave her for ending the affair. Cam had thought at the time how surreal it was to speak to him of a relationship that he knew nothing of, for him to not remember the things that they had done together. She'd never forget, he was a remarkable man after all.

During their lunches and dinners, he would ask her about his relationship with his partner, she would only go so far as to tell him that they were close. He'd asked her once if there had been any history between Brennan and himself, she'd been half tempted to tell him there had been just to get him to make the intuitive leap and realise his feelings, but she'd begrudgingly denied any knowledge of a sexual past. He'd chuckled and seemed strangely relieved. This had confused Cam to no end, she called him on it and he admitted that he liked his partner, but he was feeling the pressure to remember her. Cam had taken his hand and told him not to dismiss Brennan, she'd told him that he would have thought her the very last person on the earth that he would forget. She also encouraged him to spend more time with the anthropologist. After that chat she had started to decline his requests for lunch or dinner more and more, hoping that he would take her advice and finally start to realise what his heart couldn't communicate to his brain any longer.

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Booth leans against the door frame flicking his lucky chip into the air and twirling it over his knuckles as Cam collects her belongings from her desk. He sighs in annoyance at the length of time that it is taking her and she looks over her shoulder at him with an expressionless face.

"You never were patient Seeley."

"You never were quick at getting ready Camille." She snorts derisively and scoops up her coat and purse. He catches the chip one last time and punches he air. "At last!" That earns him another glare.

She starts to shrug into her coat, his hand sneaks behind her back helping her on with it. "What is the rush anyway? We've got plenty of time."

"No, we don't. I'm pretty sure she expects us all to be there on time, and something tells me I don't wanna remember her when she's mad."

"It's a surprise party Booth, she doesn't even know that _she's_ gotta be on time."

He steers her towards the exit by the shoulders. "You gonna help me or what?"

"Can't you just buy her a book or something?"

"For her birthday? Come on Cam. You know her better than I do.." His eyes sadden as he says the words and Cam puts a comforting hand on his arm. She rolls her eyes.

"I don't know how I get dragged into these things.. Come on."

She had suggested the Mall, but Booth had been insistent that she would appreciate something original, although she'd been dragged along to help choose a birthday gift because he had no idea what to get her she'd noted that he seemed very sure of where he wanted to go and pe3rhaps even knew what he wanted to get.

So she finds herself standing inside a small stuffy antiques shop smiling nervously at a man behind the counter who appears to be older than some of the mummified corpses that Brennan examines on occasion. A scuffling from the corner catches her attention and she sees Booth's head pop out from behind a book shelf with an excited grin. She shakes her head as she walks over to see what new 'treasure' he has found, she couldn't imagine what woman wouldn't appreciate a pair of Jimmy Choo heels over half of the junk that was surrounding her. She chuckled as she remembered the woman in question.

"Come see this Cam." She peers around the shelf to see him staring at a rather ugly mahogany jewellery box.

Crossing her arms over her chest she closes her eyes and sighs. "Please tell me you did not drag me out of work on a Friday afternoon to pick up a wooden box with skulls carved into it. That would just be a waste of a perfectly good afternoon of paperwork.

"No," he tugs her arm and pulls her over beside him. "What do you think of this?" He holds out a silver brooch, its carved edges were beautifully symmetrical and intricate and the in the centre of the piece were two dolphins. "I mean I don't know, I just think she'd like it."

Her eyebrows feel as though they are about to shoot off of her forehead. "What made you pick that up?"

"I don't know, I guess I was kind of drawn to it, and you know... girls like dolphins right? I mean Flipper was a pretty cool fish."

"Flipper wasn't a fish... Are you sure you wanna get her that?" She wasn't sure how Brennan would react to such a personal gift, she didn't want her to get her hopes up since he clearly didn't know why he was drawn to the dolphin brooch, it might be a coincidence, but she didn't honestly believe that it was.

"Ok Miss Armani, it might not be to your taste, but I think she'll like it. It's a bit pricey, but hey, guarantees me a good Birthday or Christmas present huh?"

He smiles at her triumphantly and makes his way over to the living mummy behind the counter to complete the purchase. While the old man is wrapping the gift he flashes her one more smile and she returns it, happy that he is trying to settle in to this strange new world.

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So Brennan had been surprised and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, even the anthropologist was attempting to regale humorous tales from her partnership with Booth, unfortunately she lacked the social skills that most people had and the jokes tended to seem more like a seminar. Everyone loved her for trying though.

Cam was pleased to note that Booth had been trying to stay away from her sole company and instead chose to laugh with the interns and Jack, even Sweets was invited to their testosterone party which surprised her to no end. Brennan had seemed relaxed, chatting animatedly to Angela about her latest case study or to Jack about a new technique she was looking forward to mastering, she had been relaxed all evening, until now.

Cam watches as Booth leans in close and whispers something into Brennan's ear, her eyes dart around the room and she looks uncertain of herself, but he takes the drink from her hand and pulls her over to a quiet table in the corner. They are too far away for Cam to hear the conversation, but she can see them perfectly. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the small gift wrapped box from the antique store, she watches him push it across the table towards her, almost shyly and she is caught by the tenderness that she doesn't believe even he knows he is showing.

Brennan cocks her head to one side, obviously telling him he shouldn't have gotten her anything, but then he's nudging her and she's opening the box. Cam's drink is forgotten as she cranes her head closer to see Brennan's reaction. Brennan fingers the small brooch, her eyes dart up to his and she holds his gaze, obviously trying to figure out if he remembered the significance behind the gift, her eyes drop back to the brooch when she realises that he doesn't remember and she forces a smile and thanks him. He slides an arm around her shoulders and gives her a quick friendly squeeze before pulling her back to join the others. Cam sighs and takes a sip from her wine glass, she knows that the Seeley Booth she's come to know over the past few years would have kept his partner in that corner for as long as she would have allowed it and as they approach the table and resume their places she notices the glassy look in the anthropologist's eyes.

Don't give up, she thinks, don't give up.


	5. Sweets

**Sorry it took so long to update, issues with the laptop. So we've all learned that Booth doesn't actually have amnesia, but I will continue this story as though he does until we get to see Hart's explanation for it all. Shame too, I thought he could have really gone somewhere with the characters if he'd maintained Booth's confusion. ******** Ah well, such is life. Enjoy.... oh and review of course ******

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_**Sweets**_

To the untrained eye it may have just seemed like he had forgotten who he was, but Lance Sweets was no ordinary observer. He'd noted over these past months, that Booth well and truly remembered _who_ he was, he was the same man, the same personality that he had been pre-op. In fact Sweets was fascinated by the fact that the only memories not returning to him were the ones pertaining to his relationship with his partner.

He knew that retrograde amnesia could display almost selective properties and he hadn't been at all surprised when he'd made the connection between the agent's first meeting with Brennan and his memory loss timeline. Booth had all but wiped her and anyone relating to her out of his memories. In fact, he believed that Brennan was the key to the entire episode, resolve the memory loss there and everything else would fall into place. After all, they were like the team's nucleus, every interaction was decided and enforced by their partnership.

In his journals, Sweets had been keeping a diary of Booth's progress, and though it was undoubtedly slow progress, he still believed that Brennan was the proverbial key. The sessions that Booth had attended lacked the normal rebellious attitude, in fact Booth had been quite reserved and polite, obviously unsure of how he should interact with the young psychologist. If he were honest with himself, Sweets missed the playful banter.

He'd asked Brennan not to come along to the sessions while Booth was on desk duty, he told her it was because Booth may feel that there were things he couldn't say in front of her. Truth was, he'd noticed the agent's discomfort when he caught her staring at him. It would appear that her ability to rationalise and compartmentalise disappeared in Booth's company. She'd been upset, naturally, she was frustrated at his inability to remember but she had acquiesced because she trusted Sweets' judgement.

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Booth flops down onto the uncomfortable sofa, he winces when the furniture doesn't absorb the movement as much as he'd imagine it would. Sweets sits across from him wearing his placated smile, the one that appears to get the agent wound up before any words are even spoken.

"So Sweets, what part of my brain do you want to delve into today?"

The psychologist ignores the facetious comment and looks at his pad. "Have you had a good week?"

"A relatively good week I suppose, I got hit on yesterday by a pretty woman, took Parker to a ball game, made some chilli... but then, since I've nothing to compare it to, who knows. Maybe that's a bad week compared to what I was doing 6 months ago."

He jots furiously in his pad and Booth cranes his head up to have a look at what could possibly have been interesting enough to be taken from that speech. "Have you had any more dreams you think could be memories?"

"I don't think so."

Sweets nods and folds his hands on top of the notepad on his lap. "So, tell me about how you've been feeling. Obviously there is still alot of conflict in your mind, how are you coping?"

Booth lets out a deep breath and folds his hands behind his head. "I don't know. Sometimes I think this whole mess would be easier if I had just died."

Sweets' face falls "You've had suicidal thoughts?"

"What, no! It's just, it'd be so easy for me to start over, I can't remember my life for the past four or five years, but I could probably just start over again and if I don't remember, I don't remember."

Sweets leans forward and looks at Booth with a serious expression. "But, something's holding you back?"

Booth spreads his arms along the back of the sofa and nods. "I just need to look at them, to see their faces.. it's like they are depending on me, like they need me to remember them. I get that, I do. They've lost me, and I don't remember losing them."

Sweets looks down at the notepad on his lap. "And how is your relationship with Doctor Brennan?"

"Well that's a loaded question." He rubs a hand over his face, and Sweets can't help but notice his restless behaviour. "I honestly don't know. I know we weren't involved, you know in a relationship." The psychologist nods. "But I feel connected to her somehow, I feel like if I could just remember her, everything will be okay. I just don't know how to reach into my head and get what she needs."

"What she needs?"

"Yeah, she needs me to remember her, I can see it when I look at her, I can feel it. I think she's the only reason I'm trying."

Sweets jots something down and leans back in the chair. "What are you doing to try?"

"Everything I can think of, Angela brings over pictures, Cam tells me stories and fills me in on cases, Jack.. well he just mainly talks about Angela.. but I think that feels right." Sweets chuckles.

"And what is Dr Brennan doing?"

"She's waiting. She's just waiting for me to remember." Booth chuckles, causing Sweets to look up. "I was just thinking, I found her books on my bookshelf."

"Did you read any?"

"Yes. I think I remember some of what I had read previously." Sweets smiles and nods, encouraging him to continue. "I really think I related to the male lead. He reminded me of myself."

"That's great, that's really great." Booth looks confused. "Many believe that Dr Brennan based the character of Andy Lister on you. Someone once told me that writing reveals more about the writer than the characters within."

Booth suddenly looks a bit unsure of himself. "But from what I read, the books and the partnership are very sexual in nature."

"Dr Brennan is a very sexual woman. She's definitely in touch with her wants and desires."

"And so you're saying she wants me?"

Sweets smiles and holds up his hands. "That's a conversation that you would need to have with her." Booth seems to mull this over and Sweets decides to push him. "How are you dealing with your attraction to her?" Booth's eyebrows shoot up and he very quickly looks very uncomfortable. "I mean, it must be hard for you, to feel attracted to her and connected, it must feel like it's happening very fast."

Booth's expression becomes sceptical. "This isn't something we would normally have discussed. I might not remember, but I am pretty sure of that."

"No, you're right we wouldn't. But that doesn't mean that we shouldn't. If you are uncomfortable with it, we won't."

"Thanks.... so what should I be doing, what more can I do to try to speed this process up?"

Sweets looks at his pad and thinks for a moment. "Personally, read her books, visit her father, invite her over for dinner, try to think of how you might feel if she suddenly starts dating.."

Booth pushes himself to his feet nodding thoughtfully. "Why does it all revolve around her?"

Sweets smiles and doesn't bother to look up before jotting down some notes. "With you Booth, it has always revolved around her." He looks up when he senses the agent leaving and smiles.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next time he seems them, he's standing at the entrance of the diner. Neither have noticed him and he notes with some relief that they have resumed 'their' table rather than just sitting at the counter. Booth is obviously telling Brennan something, a story from his days as a ranger perhaps or his latest visit with Parker, whatever the anecdote, she is completely captivated and one couldn't be blamed for comparing the scene to any past one in their relationship. The sparkle is back in her eyes, his body language is open and intimate as he leans across the table on his elbows towards her, and for perhaps the first time in six months, she doesn't lean away. As he stands there wondering whether or not he should go over he watches her head tip back and an appreciative laughter leave her lips, her face expressing joy and his hand reaching out to touch her shoulder.

With a genuine smile, the young psychologist nods his head and about turns, leaving the diner, finally certain that this can be fixed.


	6. Jack

Jack

To say that tensions had been running high in the lab over the past few months would have been an understatement, thankfully though the chaos that had followed Booth's current trip into amnesia seemed to be settling. If there was one thing that Jack Hodgins didn't appreciate, it was sudden change.

He couldn't honestly say that he and Booth had always seen eye to eye, but Booth was a good guy and he genuinely respected him and his abilities. Naturally when Booth had asked him to go out for drinks after work he had taken him up on the offer.

Sitting at the bar in The Founding Fathers he raises his glass before taking a swallow, Booth mimicking his actions. He watches as the agent seems to build up the courage to ask what he hadn't dared ask anyone else.

"Am I in love with the Doc?" He raises his eyes to meet what Hodgins can only assume is a rather comical surprised expression and a sputter.

"Doctor Brennan?" At Booth's nod, he places his drink on the counter and rubs his hands on his knees trying to think of the best way to approach this particular taboo conversation. "That's a complicated question Booth."

"I don't think it is, it's a simple yes or no." Booth's eyes are boring into his own, his expression unreadable. Hodgins lets out a sigh and rubs a hand over his face.

"You know I promised Dr B that I wouldn't tell you too much about your personal relationship with her. While I want to keep my promise to her, I respect you Booth, I can't even imagine what you are going through… but if this happened to me, and I forgot the important people in my life I think I would wanna know."

Booth let's out a deep breath causing him to look up and give him a quick pat on the shoulder. They share a quick smile and Hodgins adjusts himself on the bar stool. "Ask away Booth, I'll answer what I can. As for being in love, you have never outright and said it, but you two have been dancing around one another for the past four years."

"No one seems to want to tell me about her, and I feel like it's there somewhere in my head and I just need a push, something to remind me, and it'll all fall into place. I just don't know what it is that I need. What are you all protecting?"

"Her." Hodgins raises his hand to the bartender and indicates for a couple of refills. "We're protecting her."

"From what?"

"From you man." Booth's eyes darken and Hodgins hurries to make him understand. "Dr. B, well, she's not the most socially adept person you'll ever meet, doesn't take a genius to see that, and before you she was even more clueless, closed off… cold. You changed all of that, you changed her."

Hodgins takes a sip of his drink and watches Booth relax into his stool. "Before you, we were a team, in the professional sense of the word. We came in, we worked, we went home. I don't know what happened between you and her on your first case together, but she didn't much care for you. You persisted with her, got her to see that you were on her side and we all sort of built a bond.. at first it was all about the work, and then we slowly became a family of sorts. She never had that, growing up I mean, her parents disappeared when she was young and she was forced into the foster system. She never knew what it was to feel special, wanted… until she met you."

Booth's eyes were downcast when Hodgins looked up at him, he couldn't tell if he was trying to hide emotion or if he was simply attempting to digest everything he was hearing. "And as far as you know, we've never been romantically linked?"

Hodgins let out a hearty laugh causing Booth's eyes to shoot up abruptly to meet his. "Man, there's more electricity between you two than they use to light the Empire State Building, even when you've both been dating other people. But, if there had ever been anything going on, Angela would have broadcast it all the way to Chile. If you two had ever engaged in any kind of sexual activity, trust me, I'd know. Are you in love with her? I don't know. I'm not the gambler, but if I were, I'd say that you are never going to feel for anyone what it is that you feel for her."

Booth sighs and rests his chin on a hand propped up on the bar. "What if I can't remember, what if I can't feel that for her again? I see it in the way she looks at me Jack, there's something there in her eyes, it's pain, and God what I wouldn't do to take it away, but I just don't know how."

"Booth, if you ask me, you already remember what you feel for her, you just have to make sense of it in your head. If you don't get your memories back, it's not the end of the world, you've got the rest of your life to make new ones. Now is the perfect time to start, there's nothing holding you back."

Booth contemplates this quietly for a moment, nodding to no one but himself. After a few minutes of silence he takes a deep breath and turns to Jack. "Right, I think we've more than satisfied getting in touch with our inner woman quota, …. So how about that game last night?"

Hodgins let out a chuckle and smiles brightly at the agent "Now this, this is a Booth that I can relate to! Welcome back to the world of man!"

Booth rolls his eyes and lifts his beer to his lips, throwing a sidelong glance at the scientist sitting opposite him "Don't even pretend that you haven't attempted to have an emotional chat with me about your undying affection for a certain artist."

Hodgins huffs and pulls an exaggerated dejected expression "When did we become such emotionally charged saps?"

They both laugh. Booth calls over the bartender to order some food for them and Hodgins smiles, things may not be perfect, but then there's no such thing as perfect, but he's sure that they're not far from it. They're a peculiar bunch, an odd family, but he's sure that however this plays out, they'll all pull through together.


End file.
